FEAR

Contemplating on life, I guess it’s safe to say that there probably isn't much meaning to it. Perhaps, one can find something interesting to do while they are still alive. Well, I sort of have a goal too. It’s a little different than it used to be and if I were to state it in words, I like to see things moving. I get bored if things don't move. A windmill that is not moving can be nice from time to time, but most of the time, it's not even worth looking at.

      Do I sound a little strange; a little distraught even? Perhaps I am. I have been feeling rather different as of late. Maybe it’s simply because my level of patience and tolerance for the ignorance of the simpletons who surround me has finally boiled over the edge, along with the hatred I harbor for them. I am no longer the same person I used to be. There’s a new look in my eyes and I am much, much colder than I used to be.

      Being treated like an outcast was never a good feeling but I thought that stage had passed. Sadly, it never did and I am beginning to get sick of this feeling. Just like untreated injuries become infected, the psychological wounds that are left untreated also fester, spreading slowly and eventually consuming the person, changing him entirely. I have felt this way for so long that the need for being acknowledged and accepted has died away over time. The feelings of nonchalance are prevalent in my countenance.

      Darkness! It can be strange. It has so many meanings. When everything that you know and love is taken from you so harshly that all you can think about is anger, hatred, even revenge and no one can save you- that is darkness! How it is defined varies vastly. To me, it’s a source of power and a companion. Though, anything possessing such power has flaws. Darkness will eventually turn a person hollow. You know that you’ve capitulated to the darkness when you’ve accepted the price for a certain goal in life.

      I am a new person; one that this world shall fear. The world taught me to hate; I'll teach it fear. Now, I want to move the windmill with the wind called the FEAR!! We each act according to our own sense of justice and this will be my justice; this will be my judgment.