December 17, 2010

Highway of Oblivion

I don’t know what to do or what to say. I’m lost in a maze of unanswered questions and I can’t find my way. I close my eyes and search my heart but all I find is that it is burnt. Ashes of love, embers of hatred and a smoke of confusion are all that remains.
I close my eyes and ask myself, “Why can’t I cry and where’s my smile?” There’s no answer. I scream and shout but only echoes reply. I turn my back and start walking away in despair but then a pair of fearful eyes appears. The presence felt ominous. “Who are you?” I asked. I saw a figure appear. “Don’t you recognize me? I’m you!” he replied. As he stepped out of the shadow, it became clear that he indeed was me. I saw a foul and venomous look in his eyes.
“I have the answers you seek! Your tears have dried in the heat of your own hatred; your laughter has drowned in the oceans of your loneliness. You and I are bound together in this journey along the path of pain. You have nobody and nothing to gain!”
I opened my eyes again. “Is this me? Filled with so much anger and hatred, surrounded by an aura of darkness! Is this really me?” Then a kind voice tells me, “Look deeper into your eyes. Are they really empty?”
Now I see that they are not empty. Dreams fill those eyes. I’ve lost everything except my dreams. I’ve nothing left to lose and everything to gain. That dreadful apparition was doubt and the kind voice was faith. I’m no longer teetering on the edge of uncertainty. I’ve ascended beyond my fears and transformed into someone more formidable. I still walk alone in this lonely path of pain but I understand it gives me wisdom. I’ve embraced the curse and moved on because I know when this journey ends, I will have found all that I have lost and much more. I will rise from the ashes of defeat and grasp my destiny.

Bitter and better……..

Nectars of Delusion

I asked myself who I was. The only reply that my conscience would give me was “NOBODY!” The world in which we dwell is inundated with chaos and confusion. Everyone keeps running races without realizing that they don’t even know where the finish line lies. This lack of knowledge creates discombobulation which induces failure. Failure weighs down on peoples’ soul and they lose themselves as questions of their existence flushes their minds into a world on delusions.
The failure introduces despair- an illusion of the mind. Along this path we walk and lose ourselves in a dense forest hopeless depression which seems endless and insuperable. People question their reality and themselves. In the desperation, people tend to lose their tracks, focus, dreams and opportunities. It is a real pity.
They seize to live but continue to exist as a former shell of themselves, surrounded by a cold and dark aura of despair and hatred. They count days as they are trapped in an abyss of haplessness- the nectars of delusion.
It seems like the end but hope shines down only on those who have the courage to get back up from a terrible fall and dream again; only on those who have the courage to soar high on the wings of their dreams and ignore what lies beneath. The belief in oneself is all one needs to fight out of the fringes of delusions and bask in the heat of glory.
As I realized reality and rediscovered myself, all the questions seemed to vaporize leaving behind a glimmering ray of hope for a promising future far from the cold hold of the nectars of delusion.